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<title>so i remain silent by kalxpsia</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27650701">so i remain silent</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kalxpsia/pseuds/kalxpsia'>kalxpsia</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, But it's there, Johnny is a jerk, Love Triangles, M/M, Unhealthy Relationships, and taeyong is the softest romantic, because johndo is horny, does this even count as explicit, dotae is gonna have to wait, doyoung is a broken bottom, idk how to tag, johndo have sex, not gonna be too sex heavy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 05:46:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27650701</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kalxpsia/pseuds/kalxpsia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>doyoung doesn't believe in love. even when the rest of the world is obsessed with finding their soulmate, he can't help but feel bitter towards the ridiculous notion that there's someone out there who's meant for you. love doesn't exist. it's simply a fantasy people indulge in to feel better about themselves and to drown out the loneliness. he doesn't want it, he doesn't need it. and yet, no matter how many times he repeats those words to himself, he finds himself desperately clinging onto the cheapest form of love anyone can find. sex. </p><p>he and johnny have been together for a while now but there's hardly an ounce of "love" in their relationship. rather, the two of them use each other. doyoung, to push down the pain of loneliness and johnny, purely for pleasure. </p><p>but when doyoung meets a complete romanticist named taeyong, he's forced into a position where he must choose to chase after love or continue to block it out. </p><p> </p><p>tldr; a story in which doyoung is broken, johnny is a sadist, and taeyong is the loveliest angel doyoung has ever laid eyes on. </p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Suh Youngho | Johnny</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>so i remain silent</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>kjfdk i hate the lack of aesthetics ao3 has but aff has also been really dry so i thought i'd just post this story on both sites. </p><p>find me on aff as user "hwangiy"</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>to say "i want you"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>would sound far too eager</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>to say "i need you"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>would sound far too desperate</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>to say "i love you"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>would sound far too hasty</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>so i remain silent,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>hoping not to sound</em>
</p><p>
  <em>too indifferent</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>the actual chapter one is coming soon! idk how to use this site tbh so bear with me.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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